You've been on Kauai too long if…

(I’m not real sure what this says, but it makes me laugh…sort of. Thanks to Haika for sending it to me…cd)
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property could be mistaken for a recycling center.
Your car has not left the yard in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your last family get together was in a court room.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your roommate can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You’ve bathed with flea and tick soap.
You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a rooster.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You’ve boinked somebody in the VD clinic.
You wonder how the gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
Your goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
The biggest city you’ve ever been in a year is the Lihue.
Your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home.
You’ve used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.