The 2008 Golden Clog Nominees

Michael Ruhlman and Tony Bourdain have concocted The Golden Clog Awards (Ruhlman has previously announced as much on his blog), a quirky little awards event born out of “too many beers and late night yakitori,” as Bourdain explained to Eater yesterday. The awards ceremony, or “awards ceremony,” will take place this Friday at 2:00 PM in Miami Beach, as part of the 2008 South Beach Wine & Food Festival, which does lend a certain, frightening air of credibility to the proceedings. Later today we’ll bring you a chat with Bourdain about the whole shebang, but at this time, may we present the official list of nominees in the first annual Golden Clog Awards (official statuette above).
The 2008 Golden Clog Awards, Nominees and Honorees
By their Greatness Shall We Know Them
[Winners will be selected by Bourdain and Ruhlman alone, who may or may not consult with their advisory board of Next Iron Chef contender Michael Symon, journalists Russ Parsons in Los Angeles, Ed Levine and Jennifer Leuzzi in New York, and Dara Moskowitz.]
THE FERGUS
For greatest achievement in pork, and/or guts
Nominees: Martin Picard of Montreal’s “Au Pied de Cochon”; David Chang of New York’s “Momofuku Noodle Bar and Momofuku Ssam and …”; Chris Cosentino of San Francisco’s “Incanto”
THE ALTON
For being on Food Network and yet, somehow managing to Not Suck
Nominees: Duff Goldman for Ace of Cakes–and for his relative low visibility and seeming lack of cooperation in the usual knuckleheaded FN Holiday co-branded clusterfucks; Ina Garten for actually cooking just about everything impeccably–and for (like Duff) being nearly invisible elsewhere on the Network; Giada diLaurentis for doing everything (but the food) wrong and yet….still cooking consistently better than she has to.
THE MARIO
For the chef/restaurateur who best multi-tasked, multi-platformed, merchandised, whored himself, or opened multi-units (either while impaired–or not) and yet STILL managed to protect the quality of the mothership–while continuing to make valuable contributions to the restaurant landscape
Nominees: Tom Collichio, Thomas Keller, Mario Batali
THE ROCCO
For worst career move
Nominees: Gordon Ramsay for the cruel and pointless freak show that is Hells Kitchen; David Burke for the “Hooters in a Hula skirt” non-charms of Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square; Tyler Florence for Applebees, Applebees, Applebees
THE CHEF’S CHEF AWARD
Also known as The What’s a Publicist? Award for the chef who continues to make the kind of food other chefs like, while flying largely under the national radar
Nominees: Scott Bryan for Veritas and now — some place in Virginia; Mark Vetri for Osteria and Vetri in Philly; Paul Kahan for Blackbird and Avec in Chicago
THE CAT CORA AWARD
For most fame based on least actual culinary achievement
Nominees: Guy Fieri for…”Tex Wasabi?”; Tony Bourdain–“One fucking book. Did this asshole ever work anyplace GOOD?”; Robert Irvine–“Sir Robert? Uh….Maybe not. Prince Charles’ wedding cake?…uh…no. White House? Hmmm..not according to Walter Scheib….Five Stars? Who IS this guy? Really?”

Eater: SobeWire: The 2008 Golden Clog Nominees Announced!