Septimous Foreskin

Your Story… google plussers provided me with my ten requested elements…here is your story. We’ll do another one soon…

“Septimous!” the shrill voice rang out coldly on the Amsterdam streets. There was no chance that he was going to go back. “Where are you Septimous? SEPTIMOUS!” He was done with that life. He liked it just fine where he was now.

She had always found him before but this time he wasn’t going to let it happen. All he wanted to do was play with Megaman and every time the action started getting good, there she was ruining it. He and Megaman had a special relationship. Megaman told him stories of cyborgs and the evil Dr. Wily and how his arm cannon used to be good for more than scratching Septimous back. To be fair, Septimous felt bad for using Megaman this way, but he just couldn’t reach the itchy spots on his own. In the stories, Megaman always would break off and say things like “We should go Septimous. Imagine it…just you and me against all the evils of the world. Megaman and Septimous. We could be famous.”

The problem was that every time he’d tried to put their plan into action by bolting out the door, his mother got in the way. Dr. Melinida Foreskin was nothing if not fast. Megaman often expressed his gratitude that he had only had to fight Dr. Wily and the cyborgs instead of Dr. Foreskin. No matter where they hid, she could find them. It helped that she knew every other mother in suburban Akron, Ohio. After all, she was the top pediatrician in the city.

This time would be different though. Why? Well, for one thing, Megaman had a plan. For another thing, they weren’t in Akron anymore. Instead they were in Amsterdam. Dr. Foreskin had brought Septimous and his older sister, Brit, with her and after the conference they were going to spend a few weeks touring Europe. At least that was her plan. Megaman’s plan was something else all together. Of course, it almost fell apart before it began.

As the family was leaving the house, his mother had grabbed Megaman from his hands. “Septimous, you are not bringing this dirty old thing with you to Europe.” She’d thrown Megaman on the couch as if he were just a toy instead of the savior of the human race.n “That thing hasn’t worked in years.” Megaman had told Septimous that the problem was the economy and fucking non -imaginative Republicans, but Septimous figured it was really just a matter of the batteries being dead.

“Mom…please, please. I need him..I can’t, I mean it’s …I just …Megaman Mom. Please.” He was desperate and as usually happened when he was nervous, his few words dried up and he found himself involuntarily placing his hands in front of him with exaggerated slowness. First in front, then higher, then to the side – palms very flat. As if he were trapped….”

Dr. Foreskin saw his state and decided to let him win the battle. “Okay, okay…no need to be a man in a box. Jeez, what are you practicing your busking for Europe? You planning to run away and join a mime circus?”

And so Megaman came. The flight was long but along the way, Megaman told him all the details of what would happen. At the first opportunity, they would run and this time, it wouldn’t be into the nets of all the Akron moms. It would be easy. The details didn’t all make sense to Septimous, after all he was just a five year old that stood less than a meter tall and weighed just 17 kg.

Once they were at the hotel, Dr Foreskin took the kids to the room asked Brit to watch her brother and then went out to make arrangements for the rest of their trip. Brit thought she was so smart. She was blond and blue eyed and had white white white skin. Their mom said they were both Spanish, Irish, and French but that Brit’s dad was Scottish and Septimous’ father was Chinese, Japanese, and Filipino. Megaman told him that the reason they were friends were because of this bit of Japanese. As to the fathers- Dr. Foreskin had sent them each packing for her own reasons. She liked to tell her kids that she didn’t need a man around. That was fine with Septimous because soon she wouldn’t have a Megaman around either.

Brit turned on the television and told him to play with his maple bacon smelling doll on the floor. Personally, Septimous liked the smell, that was why he’d used that grease when Megaman told him that he needed to be waterproofed. with the TV on Brit Foreskin fell into a trance watching Justin Beiber. It was time to make their move.

Septimous tip toed to the door, opened it and bolted down the hallway. He found the stairs and went down what seemed like a hundred flights. The elevator had been so quick. Out the emergency door, through the lobby, and oops, there was his mom…he was out the door and behind the mailbox before she made it outside.


She would never find them. He started miming man in a box as he hid behind the letter box. It was probably for that reason that he was caught by surprise.

“Are you looking for this little rascal, Dr. Foreskin?” a strong hand clamped down on him. The mans’ big gray mustache and puffy hair spouting from the sides of his bald head would have been funny if it weren’t for the evil behind his eyes. He grabbed Megaman in one hand and Septimous in the other.

Dr. Foreskin came running up. She grabbed Septimous roughly…”You scared me, what were you thinking?Come on…” She began dragging him back to the hotel…

“But Mom, wait, what about Megaman?” He gestured back to where the man in the white coat still held Megaman.

“Septimous, I’ve had enough.Dr. Wily, thank you for finding my son. Would yo do something with that stupid doll of his?”

Dr. Wily smiled wickedly. “It would be my complete pleasure Dr. Foreskin. I’ll see you at the conference.”

Here are the ten elements provided from

1. Septimus Foreskin
2. 3′ 10′, 40 lbs, 5 yrs old, Filipino/Spanish/Irish/French/Chinese/Japanese
3. Mimes “man in a box” when nervous
4. The never ending playdate
5. Amsterdam
6. 1999
7. his mom
8. big sister Beritt
9. lifeless/deactivated/otherwise useless-but-complete Megaman. Smells vaguely of maple-smoked bacon.
10. action