Revenge of the Shit errr Sith

 

Originally published May 24, 2005

I just got back from seeing the movie everyone is talking about…is it just me or did that movie totally suck? Sith and Shit have the same letters and this movie was shit. Pure and simple. Bad acting, no suspense, completely implausible scenes (even within the framework of the Star Wars Universe), and worst of all the much touted special effects were no where near industry standards. Not even industry standards of 1977.

I remember back in 1977, waiting in line at the Big Bear Theatre with my Dad and brother to see Star Wars. The line was around the block. There was snow on the ground. It was a one screen theatre. This was before the days of multiplexes. It was worth the wait. While Mark Hamil may not be the worlds best actor, he carried the part of Luke, a spoiled wussy kid that eventually saves everyone. But anyway, back to the current piece of shit.

If the clones aren’t sure Obi Wan is dead, why don’t they destroy his ship..or at least put a gaurd on it? Can Anikan really be so incredibly stupid? He has no brain. He gets used by one side and then the other. What happened to that smart kid that put together droids? It’s great that the force is so powerful that Jedis can breath in a vacuum and yet every Jedi except Obi Wan and Yoda can be easily killed. I mean, easily. How many hands did I see get cut off in this film? Let’s see, I remember both of the Duke’s hands getting cut off, two of the hands of the General, one of Samuel L. Jackson’s, the second of Anikans (he already lost one previously…) and I’m sure there were more…so that is six hands I can think of…is there some symbolism I’m missing here?

Anyway a total piece of crap. It was like a reunion of Cheers with different actors playing the parts of Sam, Diane, Frasier, Woody, Cliff, Norm, and the gang. The only thing this film had going for it was the couple of sexy chicks and the nostalgia for movies that actually made use of drama.

Since this is my first review….I will use this film as the benchmark for everything else. I give Revenge of the Sith a rating of TURD.