Good Friends You’ve Never Met

This is an excerpt from the Original Slackville Road. It didn’t make it into the re-release. Here’s the thing…it’s a true story. It happened to me and a buddy in Bellingham…fiction is real life…in this case.

~Vago Damitio

pancake houseThere was a guy sitting to my left that kept looking at Ricky on my right. I couldn’t tell what was happening but he seemed plenty mad and he seemed like he couldn’t see anything but Ricky. Suddenly he started speaking over me.

“What’s your fucking problem? Why do you gotta sit there?” Ricky tried to laugh it off but pretty soon the guy stood up and started moving towards him, ready to fight. What was going on with people? I grabbed him by the shirt, making him notice me.

“Hey buddy, why you doing this? What’s your name?” He seemed to notice me for the first time.

“Craig,” he said” Do I know you?”

“Sure Craig, you know me. We go way back. Don’t tell me you don’t remember all the good times we’ve had?” I didn’t know this guy but he was incredibly drunk. It might work. “Why else do you think I’m sitting here having breakfast with you?”

“Yeah, sure, that’s right, I remember. Course I do. Just losing that damn job right now with all the holiday bills. And they keep hiring the fucking Mexicans…” He noticed Ricky again and started moving towards him. Ricky might look like a Mexican to a drunk bigot.

“Craig, he’s no Mexican. That’s my friend. My friend, you’re my friend too. Why would you wanna fight with one of my buddies when you and I are such good buddies. That’s not cool. Besides, he’s a Cajun not a Mexican.” The guy moved back to his chair and started crying. This was the weirdest fucking night of my life.

The guy was a victim of downsizing. He gushed his story out and then got up to go. He stopped at the register and I heard him tell the waitress that he was paying for whatever his two buddies down there had ordered. He meant Ricky and me. Fucking weird.