Category: Oddities

The Pyramid Conspiracy Theorist aka The Smartest Man in the World

The smartest man in the world came into my shop today – he didn’t overtly say he was the smartest man in the world, but it was obvious he had the answers to everything. Jesuits, he was ready to tell me about their conspiracy. He told me how the...

Thank God for Stupid Terrorists

On this anniversary of the September 11th attacks – which I’m sad to hear called Patriot Day – because it’s not about patriotism – it’s about a heinous and cowardly act and mourning the innocent men, women, and children who died as a result – anyway, on this September...

Ramblin’ Man: How to Throw a Handgrenade

Y2K/ WWIII WEOPON TIP #1 by Vago Damitio The world is quickly heading to hell in a hand basket. I find myself prepared for whatever should come my way. Truly. I am trained by one of the worlds foremost military forces. My mother trained my siblings and I to be...

Smoke rings and Swine Flu and Missing Authors

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. – Emo Philips Okay, here are a couple of interesting things I found on the web this morning....

Guest Blogger: Marsha O on Hysterical Paroxysm

Admin note: As always, guest bloggers are welcome here at Existensis.com. Just email me with what you have and I’ll happily share it. Today’s guest blogger is Marsha O’Brien, a fitness consultant, healer, and also my mother. You can find her blog at http://marshaobrien.wordpress.com/ Hysterical paroxysm Have you heard...

Odd Big Bear Lake

It’s a strange place that I grew up in. The strangest thing is that it hasn’t changed at all since I last lived here 22 years ago. The same businesses, the same houses needing paintjobs, the same old time miner 49er beards on different quirky Big Bear types. If...

Crabs in a bucket- Hawaii and Morocco

Vago tells us that some of his local friends in Hawaii describe living in the islands like being a crab in a bucket. That is, whenever someone sees something good coming your way, like a crab almost getting out of the bucket, instead of pushing you out, they grab...

3 year old Hitler, Periodic Table of awesomenents, leaking magnetism,

These freaks named their child Adolf Hitler and now they are pissed that the bakery won’t inscribe the 3 year olds birthday cake. Poor fucking kid. Those parents should be charged with neglect, what a thing to do to a kid. On a lighter note, check this out: Link...

E-Cigs!

The electronic cigarette has arrived. I was introduced to them by my friend Aaron Baron. Mine arrived yesterday. I bought it on ebay for $27. I used it in the library as I explained to the librarian that it wasn’t smoking at all. The manufacturers claim you can smoke...

Virtual Stocks, Virtual Murder, and Radio Raheem

For the first time since 2003 when I stopped being a stock broker, my virtual portfolio has gone into the red. Until a month ago I was continuously up more than $5000 on a virtual $20000 portfolio based on the stocks that I sold to my clients. Hopefully, someone...

Assault with a deadly fart.

The world is more bizarre than most of us can imagine. Check out this story Sarah sent me. (Thanks Sarah!) Watch where you fan those stinkers, stinkers. SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it...

A strange thing to come across

As I was walking across campus, there he was in a dress made from a kiddie splash pool and a fantastic balloon headdress. I took his picture and moved on wondering if I had been hallucinating. 21-09-08_1512.jpeg Originally uploaded by chrisdamitio T-Mobile...

Giant flying turd causes havoc

GENEVA (AFP) – A giant inflatable dog turd by American artist Paul McCarthy blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again, the museum said Monday. The art work, titled “Complex Shit”,...