Black is the new Christmas

Of course the biggest problem with the American holiday season which has spread out worldwide was pointed out by my wife last night. For those folks who don’t have the money to go out and buy a gazillion lights, a ton of brand new expensive gifts, and to have big holiday parties with family and friends – the non stop advertising serves one purpose – it points out how miserable a life they are living and how much everyone else has.

It’s all rather disgusting and while we are fortunate to be able to have gifts and a tree and nice food and even some decorations if we want to – the non-stop commercialization of Christmas isn’t pleasant. We could just change the name of the holiday to ‘Black Season’ – or start saying ‘Black is the new Christmas’ instead of saying Merry Christmas we could all say “Mary Black” and somewhere, that lady I met one time named Mary Black would feel her ears tingling constantly for four months.

I saw the first Christmas commercial this year about a week before Halloween.

Let’s pause for a moment. I don’t give a shit about the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas. Jesus was cool and all but I’m not a Christian. Besides, his birthday wasn’t even in December anyway – that was a smooth move pulled by Justinian who wanted to have the Romans celebrate his new religion on their old holiday – the winter solstice – usually around December 21-23 – Justinian sat in old Byzantium’s Constantinople (which later became Istanbul) and do you really think there is a coincidence that St. Nicholas was Turkish (because he was) – I don’t. So when people start spouting the true meaning of Christmas as some Christian worship thing, I bite my tongue. It’s never been about Christ.

But here, in the United States – since the early 1800s – it has been about family and love and home and keeping warm when it’s fucking cold outside. A lump of coal was a nice present indeed if you were freezing your ass off or had no way to make your morning coffee. Go read the Little House on the Prarie books – trust me.

So, back to the black holidays – like the black arts, they are all about greed, selfishness, envy, and nasty business. Black Friday – it gets more press than Thanksgiving – which, let’s face it, has a pretty horrible PR campaign going right now – i.e. Europeans come to the America’s, almost starve, but are saved by the indigenous people who they reward by stealing their land and massacring them…again – a holiday about family and having food to eat at the harvest time..but now about trampling strangers to save $5 at a sale so you don’t go fucking broke buying black holiday presents for spoiled selfish and greedy shits who don’t deserve any better than the indigenous people who were wiped out (and probably worse).

We save one Turkey by Presidential decree and then we stuff our fat asses with beer, turkey, and tacos. What do you think Bill Cosby will be doing this year? Probably having a better time than most people with those damn spanish flies.

Oh man, I’m on a roll. I just realized I dissed Halloween not long ago…yeah – fuck all the holidays. I’m celebrating them but not like the PR firms want me to -and by the way – my shop will be open on Black Friday and I’ll be having a big sale – come buy a bunch of shit, will ya?