Bad Advice No One Should Follow

Imagine that you hate the way the government spends tax dollars. Wars, surveillance, bailouts, overpaid elected officials, farm subsidies designed to keep food prices higher, police being turned into domestic military force, detention centers, increased over-regulation and bloated bureaucracy – you get the point. You are being forced to pay taxes and your tax dollars are being used for evil – so you hate giving your hard-earned, wage slave dollars to the government.

What are you supposed to do?  Well, here is some bad advice that no one should follow. Do not do this, it can get you in a lot of trouble and it’s illegal. I repeat – do not follow this bad advice.

1) Put a portion of your nest egg in a bank account. Deposit any checks you get into that account. Keep the balance at a fairly high level – so that you have some just in case, oh shit, escape your life money.

2) Establish good credit. Get credit cards, set up automatic bill paying with the monthly minimum amount, and use those credit cards to pay for everything. Keep making that minimum amount but live life how you want to live it. Take trips, go to restaurants, buy stuff. Pay everything you can with the credit cards. Most bills can be paid with them. Get high rewards cards so that you get rewarded for paying your electric, water, cable, cell phone, daycare, etc with the credit cards. Keep that credit good. Occaisionally use a balance transfer option to ‘pay off’ an old card with a new one and avoid paying interest for a year or more on your purchases. Always keep at least one high limit card with a zero balance.

3) Any cash you can earn through work, garage sales, swap meets, selling stuff on craigslist, tips, etc – put that in a separate account and use it to buy bitcoin and other crypto currency – or ideally – use something like LocalBitcoins or other person-to-person services to buy bitcoin for cash and put it in a secure offline wallet.

4) By this point the banks and loan services will be salivating at the thought of you being a good credit risk. They will offer to loan you lots of money. Accept their offers! Pay down your credit card debt and use at least half or your loans to buy cryptocurrency anonymously and keep it in an anonymous wallet.

5) Start a small LLC so that you can take the extra tax deductions that come with owning a small business. Most states you can do this for less than $100 and the tax writeoffs are massive – everything from part of your rent, computers, internet service, vehicle, child care, meals…

6) Take the maximum amount you can afford and put it into an IRA or 401k.

7) File your taxes. Keep your cash earnings and online earnings out of the equation. Be sure to tell the truth about your on-the-books crypto and stock investments.  Take your deductions – hire a slick tax accountant. You should be able to not only get back any withholding – but also to get Uncle Sam to pay you a little bonus for your earned income etc.

8) Put that money into crypto and remember – always anonymously if you can. No paper trail.

9) Wash, rinse, and repeat. You are not contributing to the things you oppose. You are gaming the banks and lenders while they think they are gaming you. You are building a safe, secure, transportable and transferrable nestegg – primarily with the money of tyranny and oppression.

10) Eventually, you either have enough that you can pay off your debts or you take your cash nestegg, cash out your retirement, use that high balance credit card and your accumlated miles to go to an exotic and better run location, and then you smile while you lay in your hammock sipping your mojito – the smile means that you just fucked the system.

Again – this is terrible advice, do not follow it. It is illegal, dangerous, and for amusement purposes only.