August is hard

I don’t know why this is, but it does seem that August is always a difficult time for me physically, mentally, and existentially. Knowing this is more than half the battle. I also know that things invariably improve dramatically for me as the year winds down. So, there it is.

At the moment, I am (obviously) figuring some things out. Getting some catharsis and looking at a generalized direction to go with career, life, and more. I’m in a good place to do that. The small ranch I am on is quiet and gives me the space to think, explore, and write. Not to mention, I like waking up and doing the chores.

I usually wake up around dawn, make coffee, then go feed the horses, feed the chickens, water the gardens, and maybe ride around the place on one of the quad wheelers. Not bad for a homeless guy, right? It’s one of those situations that just came up and I happened to be able to say yes to. That’s one of the reasons prefer to keep my options open, because when something like this comes up, I can say yes to it.

Don’t get me wrong, this is very temporary, probably two weeks at the longest and more likely a week or so. I’m just thankful to have it. Especially in August. It’s so funny, most of the truly traumatic experiences of my life have taken place during the 8th month. The universe sometimes seems to stack things up like that.

And so it goes. I’ve got several challenges ahead of me. Personal, professional, and spiritual. On the personal level, I’ve put on some weight since getting to the U.S., I want to shed those pounds. On the professional level, I really want this job in Indonesia and I need to figure out how to make my blogging more than just a hobby, and on the spiritual level, Ramadan starts very soon and I will be taking the Feeding the Spirit journey. The nice part is that I can see how these three goals line up and work together.

So yes, August is a difficult month, but in truth, the only times we ever actually learn anything are when we are suffering. I’m grateful to suffer so that I can learn not to suffer.