chris damitio

Halloween is Boring and Unhealthy

I’m not sure why I used to love Halloween so much.

I used to enjoy the free candy when I was a little guy – and I guess it was fun to be able to put on costumes and go out at night.

Of course, when I was a kid – our parents would just send us out and we could go door to door by ourselves. We also reached the age where we put m-80s in people’s pumpkins and carried squirt guns filled with lighter fluid…

Explosives and arson – yeah, it was a juvenile delinquent night and thankfully nobody ever blew off their hands or burned down someone’s house. How in the world were 12-year-old kids getting quarter sticks of dynamite to blow up people’s jack-o-lanterns? I don’t even remember but that was the 1970s and 80s so parents weren’t really paying attention – the me generation was still focused firmly on themselves which left us free to run riot and have absolutely crazy childhoods whether it was Halloween or not…

In my 20s Halloween became a great holiday to put on a mask and get fucked up drunk – dancing, drinking, sometimes fighting, and if things went right hooking up with some random costumed girl – all of that stuff lost most of its appeal somewhere in my 30s.

Now in my 40s – it’s fun to carve jack-o-lanterns with my 3-year-old daughter. It’s fun to see her putting on a costume. It’s fun to introduce her to trick-or-treating and see her excitement.

Other than that – I’m not much of one for horror stories or slasher flicks or monsters that fall outside of the Dungeons and Dragons realm – though I do confess a weakness for zombie flicks and the Walking Dead on AMC –

The last adult Halloween before my daughter came along was back in Hawaii in 2007 when around 12 of us dressed as different kinds of Gandolf – we had Rasta Gandolf, homeless Gandolf, etc…that was sort of fun in concept – and then there was the drinking and dancing – fun, but already starting to feel not very fun – like going to bars and clubs –


This year, I was more disturbed by the serial killer macabre in the advertising and decorations of my fellow Americans than feeling festive about it – or maybe it’s that the whole world has become a sort of continuous horror movie combined with hard core year-round holiday marketing that is not only exhausting but unhealthy, expensive, and at the end of the day (or night) not very fun.



Ebola – What Happens in Vegas, has a 70% chance of killing and a larger chance of spreading…

It was Mike’s bachelor party and he brought in his best mates from all over the country. Guys he’d grown up with in your state, his Army buddies from all over the country, college friends from NYU and UCLA Medical school, and some colleagues from Boston General and his internship in Seattle. In short, it was a great party and guys from all over the country came. It was a classic Vegas party even inculding the incredibly dirty pair of strippers doing a lesbian sex show in the suite of the hotel – which was ruined when one of them started puking blood all over the place. They all thought she was a drunk druggie whore – but no, the truth was simpler. She had Ebola.
(Note for clarity: Ebola is a virus which is passed via bodily fluids, not an STD but of course bodily fluids are often shared during sex)
To be fair, she was a drunk druggie whore – and she’d gotten Ebola from a John who had fucked a stripper who worked in a bar where a guy from Iowa had come after he found out the nurse he was engaged to had been diagnosed in Dallas with Ebola after she was assured she was safe taking care of the guy who had brought Ebola to the United States from Liberia where he had helped an Ebola victim who was pregnant go to the hospital only to have her be turned away and how she got it was a whole ‘nother story. She was married to a guy who helped pick a woman up off the street when she collapsed and was thrown from a bus and she’d gotten the disease by taking care of her son who was a hard working student in a poor school, who got it from a girl that had come from the country because her whole family was ill, who got it because they were nice people who took care of a guy they knew…and it goes on and on…to a guy in the Congo eating meat he killed in the forest back in 1974 or so…oops.

But back to John’s awesome party ( oh wait, it was Mike’s but guess what, John’s party had the same thing happen but with different people…trippy) – so they all went home and only half of them passed the disease on – so it goes like this:

10 at the party
5 get the disease and interact with 200 people
only 500 get the disease and interact 200 people
50,000 get the disease and interact with 200 people
5 million get the disease and interact with 200 people
1 Billion get the disease and interact with 200 people
Everyone gets Ebola and 5.7 billion people die….the rest survive and the world is suddenly super cool and filled with infinite possibilities. Life is awesome. Everything is awesome. Ebola is awesome. Ebola makes life worth living. Awesome.

Ebola is awesome … at least for the people 500 years from now. For everyone else, it pretty much sucks.

Antiques Technology

Creation, Thoughts, and Ideas from a Creator

Without a doubt, the greatest impediment to innovation or creation is not inspiration, but procrastination – most specifically , waiting for the right time, right materials, right circumstance, or right something – if Leonardo or Michelangelo had waited the world would be a poorer place – if Steve Jobs had waited, the world would certainly be different – if Henry Ford or countless others had waited – the world would be unrecognizable – which may or may not be a good thing – I haven’t seen that other world, so I don’t really know.


I only know that America makes it harder than ever to get started – gone are the days when a poor immigrant can make aprons from cloth bought with his last few dollars and start a grand enterprise – today – to do so legally he needs to have a license, a premisis, a tax ID number, and countless other sanctioned impediments to doing business. Our system is seemingly, a system which does to great length to encourage inertia and to discourage innovation and forward movement.

I, like many others, am a man of ideas. My whole life has been a complex system of coming up with ideas and then working to make them reality – often the only canvas I have had to work with is myself, who I am – and I’ve painted several different me’s through these four decades. My antique shop was born in three days – I spoke with the landlords, I signed the rental agreement, I moved what I had in, and I opened – meanwhile – two shops down the street prepared for months to open their doors – one of them to much better effect than me and the other to about the same lukewarm welcome and success.

My desire is to create, to make new things, to innovate, to paint, to write, to play music, to make art, to start business – that is what I do. I am a creator – not a creative – a creator. I create things. I create books, stories, worlds, websites, magazines, businesses, people (characters and children), and more. I would create far more if I were not stymied by process, procedure, start up costs, regulations, and other artificial impediments to my creative genius. I find it funny, by the way that art is contained in the word artificial – when I find true art to be the most genuine products of humanity…I also find it incredibly annoying to have creators like myself labeled as ‘creatives’ by those who are not. We are not creatives, we are creators. We are not makers, we are creators. We create!

If God did create us in his image, we creators are the ones he must love the most. We create! We understand! And, we also understand how a creation can turn south or end up being disappointing, or not work out the way that we intended.

In the beginning, God created Man and then Man (and woman) started doing all kinds of things God hadn’t intended or thought about – yeah, I get that – the characters in the books I write usually take over at some point and deviate wholly from my preconcieved plotlines – when I paint – it often ends up something completely different from what I started thinking I was painting – even my antique shop is not quite what I had expected it would be – it has been filled with stuff people walked through the door with to sell me – I had no idea this stuff would come here – and so it goes. The stuff I thought would sell has been gathering dust while the stuff I didn’t plan on has paid the rent, I sure hope that continues…

It’s enough for now – although one more thing – I think that perhaps the internet and its offer of allowing me to create whatever I want for the world to see may have dragged me off a path where I would have made more real world things – stuff you can touch and hold.  As a matter of regret – I regret that – all this website crap – it disappears when the power goes out – if I had been making furniture or gardens – they wouldn’t be so ephemeral – or maybe they would. I don’t know. What do you think?

America Me Work


I have strong opinions and good ideas – I’m tired of keeping them to myself. I’m going to be sharing them from now on on twitter using the hashtag #vagothinks – I’m still a week out from completing my 99 day fast from Facebook – I may do another 99 day break from it after I check messages, check up on friends, etc.

Here are the first of my #vagothinks:

#vagothinks The USA should offer Syria to Turkey if they go in and kick ISIS out – just give it to the Turks.

#vagothinks the US economy is failing miserably for everyone who is not already middleclass or higher – I propose locialism as a solution…

@vagothinks locialism is a universal safety net including free medical, food, and housing assistance for anyone earning less than $40k/year

#vagothinks #locialism should be free and available for anyone who asks for it – no proof necessary – those who opt out get special benefits

#vagothinks taxes should be paid by employers before wages – flatly – every employee gets taxes withheld – not an employee=no taxes !

#vagothinks Trash trucks should have scales on them – every household gets charged by weight – less garbage=lower bill, more garbage=higher

#vagothinks No one (including corps) should be allowed to own more than two residences but no limit on commercial or industrial properties

#vagothinks There should be a children’s judicial system where children can safely appeal unfair treatment from adults with no consequences

#vagothinks a person’s record should only reflect judgments against them -everything else should be expunged – including credit data

#vagothinks The US government should wipe out student loans and make all Universities public and free of charge – funded by taxes, resources

#vagothinks the US government should use (and disclose) alternative funding for maintenance of parks, universities, schools, highways, etc

#vagothinks the sale of raw materials to other countries should be outlawed. The USA should export finished products only.


The Astounding Way I Earn a Living These Days…and more

America is awash in stuff, things, shit, and treasure…

It’s fucking astounding. It blows my mind. Always has. Probably always will. This country has such an amazing glut of material goods that it struggles with what to do with them – but at the same time – the citizens here are constantly buying shit, stuff, new things…to replace perfectly good old things…

My friend owns a second hand shop down the street from me – every time I step in her shop I realize that my high minded ideals and cultured aesthetic have fucked me again – she is selling the shit out of stuff I wouldn’t have thought would sell- Seriously…get this…I can buy a fine set of hand made, Danish, mid century modern end tables by a known designer and maker and price them at $50 each – and I’ll get a dozen people that come in and look at them and then tell me “Oh, I can’t pay that, I want to resell them” – pickers and dealers coming into an ANTIQUE SHOP – they need meat on the bone.

…oh yeah baby, I’ve made the big mistake – Cater to the classes and dine with the masses and meanwhile she is Catering to the masses and dining with the classes – Yeah, I’m an idiot. I have a store filled with things I appreciate after visiting the greatest museums in the world, traveling to 50 countries and 49 states, and studying art, history, and culture – in a town where most people have at best a 12th grade education and might have visited a couple of cities nearby..or maybe had a trip to California a few years ago….meanwhile my friend is selling them the same things their neighbors bought and they admired…for a fraction of the cost –

I earn a living doing this- we pay our bills and the people that appreciate this stuff find me – which is cool – but meanwhile she is employing two people, making more money, and has the opportunity to buy far more new inventory than I do (let alone expand)- so, the moral of the story is – don’t focus on what you like, focus on what people need – the Warren Buffet investment strategy – it works and my friend is proof of that –

I’m not complaining, mind you – like I said – I earn a living buying and selling really cool things, beautiful art, and interesting things – but the question I should have asked at the beginning was “Do I want to deal in cool interesting things or make money?” The answer, I thought was both, but what I didn’t realize was that I’d much rather make money selling crapola than scrape by selling art…it’s time to do some evaluation and figure out how to reshape my business…

Alternative Medicine

Ebola in the USA – Promotional Stunt for The Walking Dead or Proletariat Genocide?

It’s like the plot of some badly written hollywood horror flick – a man tries to get a pregnant woman with Ebola into a hospital only to have her sent back home – where she dies. Then he gets on a plane, flies to the capital of the European Union and then takes a plane to the USA – but wanting to make sure even more passengers going to diverse locations are infected – he takes a second plane to Dallas, Texas.

Once in the USA, he hugs and kisses his girlfriend’s five kids – who go to four different low income schools in the Dallas Area – and then proceeds to get really sick and vomit and bleed in the low income, overcrowded apartments he is staying in – a neighbor takes him to the hospital – and in a quirky twist of fate – he is turned away and sent back home by taxi cab – where he continues to expose people for two more days by visiting shopping malls, pharmacies, and fast food restaurants. When news gets out – the hospital says “Yeah, we’ve got it covered” and put him in an improvised safe unit – while telling the poor people back at the apartment complex to hang tough and stay indoors… – yeah, that’s been working in Liberia and Sierra Leone too.

It’s like the badly written plot of some horror flick – but, actually – it’s real. And who knows what plot twists have been left out – with an incubation period of 2-24 days – we can wait and see…meanwhile, it seems like maybe the Unabomber’s idea of the Bourgouisie playing a genocidal trick on the old proles might be in the works – let’s face it – the rich don’t need all of us, only enough to mow their lawns, fly their planes, and grow and cook their food and again – let’s face it – that doesn’t take 8 billion. Imagine a country of 5 million people all serving their uber-rich overlords – it’s not hard to see how it makes sense.

Me? I’m hanging tight for the next month and seeing where the next case of Ebola crops up – my money is on either Chicago, Detroit, or New Orleans but I won’t count out LA, San Francisco, Seattle, or New York either –

In the meantime – I’m going to be eating a lot of curry and garlic – you never know – it might help.