The Three Zombie Herds of America

Coming back to the USA has been traumatic in many ways, but perhaps the biggest trauma has been in recognizing that most Americans have been zombified and then, once their minds have been erased, they have migrated to one of the three great zombie herds which roam the highways and biways of this once great land.

Herd #1: These are the ones that my new friend Get Back Jack described as being so fucked up on meth they just circle around the Best Western in Kelso, WA – or somewhere else. No explanation needed. Tweaker herd. Crankster herd. Meth herd. Ice herd. No coming back and so fucked up they won’t care when they die herd.

Herd #2: The Narcisistic Selfie herd. At one point in my life when technology still seemed cool and new and benign – I was enthusiastic to be a member of this herd. Then I left the country for five years. Like not looking in a mirror for half a decade, I returned to see people eating dinner while looking at their phones, riding the bus with phones, driving and texting having become a big crime, and somehow thinking that nude pics on their cellphones are secure. This was the culture of burners and techies and Boingboing podcasters and cool maker techno awesome which somehow devolved into selfie culture. People who are so cuaght up in what others are thinking of them that they have no room to actually think about who they are or should want to be. No self awareness only awareness of how others see their self. No self development – like a car with a perfect paintjob but an engine that is falling apart.

Herd #3: The pissed off patriot herd ready to blame all the problems on someone else. If it’s not the Mexicans, it’s the Arabs, if not the Arabs, it’s the Californians, or the Mushroom pickers, or the Democrats or the Republicans or the Libertarians, or the people down the street. I feel for the people in this herd – I agree with them sometimes which I guess puts me in the herd sometimes, but the problem is they never look at the rest of the world – they only listen to the American view of things.

Then there are the rest of us – the retirees, the screwed, the spit on, the over regulated, the under served, the tired, the poor, the restless souls, the hungry, the few who perhaps could do it better if not for the over regulation, and the community minded.

Fuck it, I’m not innocent. I don’t have the answers. I do see the problems pretty clearly though. It all comes down to two issues – 1) Too much technology and 2) Too much government – unfortunately, those are two of the most powerful forces to ever exist – Government automagically encroaches on the freedom of it’s citizens to protect itself – Technology is the same and worse because it forces all to use it or be left behind. There are no more payphones in my town – if you don’t have a cellphone, you can’t make a call. Government is savvy and uses technology to control and inform on its citizenry. Technology is savvy and uses it’s power to control government, citizens, and to gather information.

I may have the freedom to write this but I can only have that freedom if I pay for a laptop, a connection, electricity, a place to sit, and do that by earning money, spending money, and using technology. Freedom is gone. I could tell you a million freedoms I don’t have
– to disappear
– to live in the woods (without a permit)
– to stop paying bills or taxes
– to be free

All of it is clear in America, but only if you have taken some time to not look in the mirror.

Oddities Politics

Thank God for Stupid Terrorists

On this anniversary of the September 11th attacks – which I’m sad to hear called Patriot Day – because it’s not about patriotism – it’s about a heinous and cowardly act and mourning the innocent men, women, and children who died as a result – anyway, on this September 11th, I’d like to give thanks for stupid terrorists.

Apparently the smartest ones died in the first attacks (and those later in Europe and Africa) because since that time, there have been nothing but bumbling shoe bombers and nincompoop jihadists trying to arrange terrorist acts with FBI informants or using thier cellphones to arrange meetups. Thank god they are all apparently retarded.

There have been no successful terrorist campaigns and at the point when they look like they might be on the verge of setting up an Islamic State and having the world let them – the idiots decide it’s a perfect time to execute American journalists and make threats to the American people. Jesus H. Christ – didn’t these boobs realize that the war weary American public and the second term President would have let them create their own country and have all of Iraq and Syria (and probably much of the rest of the middle East) if they would have just left the Kurdish oil fields in peace and not taunted the most powerful, egotistical, and fearful country in the world?

Now we watch as the idiots make a mockery of themselves and get systematically bombed and bludgeoned until something smarter and less prone to provoke American fear and it’s deadly response replaces them. Fuck you Isis, you should have called yourself Shazam.

Anyway, thank god for the idiot terrorists who haven’t managed to poison our water supply even though a drunk kid in Portland managed to piss in the drinking water reservoir just several months ago.

Thank God for idiot terrorists who haven’t figured out that a truck stop or buffet would be a great place to poison a bunch of pork eating infidels. And thank god they didn’t figure out they could shut down our electric grid and freeze hundreds of seniors or derail trains carrying toxic waste through urban areas.

It’s hard to believe the terrorists are so lazy, stupid, and idiotic that they haven’t figured out they could poison our air by mixing bleach and ammonia in a confined stadium or sell a bunch of toxic waste filled containers to someone that wanted to make a few extra bucks storing it on their land bordering agricultural fields. It’s really hard to believe.

If they wanted to, it seems like they could have killed so many of us by now…but then, maybe we should thank god for our genius homeland security and the long lines at airports and the invasive searches and wire tapping that have foiled the plots we never heard of. Maybe we should thank George W. Bush and Dick Cheney for the war against terrorism.

Or maybe, the terrorists are smarter than we think – maybe they are playing the long game and just waiting for us to implode and destroy ourselves with GMO foods, carcinogenic additives, pill popping depressed grade schoolers, and narcissistic social media obsessed sociopathic teens who don’t know the difference between killing a zombie on TV and shooting a person in the park.

Either way, thank God for idiot terrorists and for the fact that since 2001, there has not been another successful mass attack on the people of the USA.


What’s Up Stud?

imagesI went out for a bike ride this morning and it happened to be when the local high school students were out having their lunch. I rode by a group of boys and one of them yelled “What’s up Stud?” and frankly, it pissed me off.

So I turned my bike around and said “Who said that?”

“I did, what’s the problem Stud?” one of them said.

“The problem is you don’t know me, I’m a disabled Marine Corps vet, I’ve served my country, I own a business in this town, and you’re being disrespectful.”

“How is that disrespectful, Nigga?” one of the white boys said.

I thought about my black friends, my African wife and daughter, and my buddy’s grandmother and decided to just ignore that whole end of the conversation.

“It’s disrespectful because you don’t know me, I’m not your friend and you have no reason or right to call me Stud, motherfucker, or anything else”

These were high school football players and a couple of them started moving towards me – at this point there were about ten of them – then the giggling girls showed up – “He said motherfucker… hee hee” and I felt the threat from a big dumb looking kid moving towards me – I know that look – he was going to hit me and impress those girls

A couple of options went through my head

1) Step off the bike, pick up the bike and use it to smack his big ugly face with the sproket and then kick him right in the nuts before doing a sweep and stomp on his face – then turn and give a big Marine death yell to the rest and deal with whatever they might have to give
2) Ride away
3) Keep talking and try to explain why what they had done and were doing was disrespectful

I wanted to believe those kids were just missing someone telling them how it was…that was stupid. They were too far gone to learn anything in that situation and I felt the situation escalating as big hoss moved toward me. At that point a smaller, wiser kid with a scraggly beard stepped forward…as I got ready to teach big hoss a permanent lesson.

“Passion lies that way – if you leave now” the smaller bearded said. Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck that meant. I was close to entering a rage and not far from attacking a 17 year old kid amidst a group of ten or so hormone addled boys in the midst of a couple of girls they were bound to want to impress. The moment I was trying to figure out what it meant, I realized it was time for option number two. I rode away – but boy was I pissed.

I can’t begin to explain how angry I found myself. I took myself into my garage and tried to calm myself as I looked at my baseball bat and a few other nice pieces of equipment that might level the playing field. Ultimately, there was nothing to be done. I had a series of options that led to nowhere good.

1) Beat up a bunch of minors
2) Get beat up by a bunch of minors
3) Argue with a bunch of petulent teens
4) Yell at disrespectful kids of disrespectful parents
5) Have bigger worse problems

None of it was good. I called the police and told them about the incident. I called the high school and told them about the incident. In both cases, they said there was nothing to be done about it and in the future I should ignore the teens taunts and disrespect. If we were still in Africa or Turkey, they would have been bleeding and learned something – but this is America. There is nothing to do.

I don’t really like it – but that’s all there is to it. I’m going to have a big dish of spaghetti next to the door when Halloween comes – if those dummies come to my door – I’m going to serve it to them cold and ruin all their candies – I remember their faces – and that, kids, is why you should never holler disrespect to unknown strangers. It might just ruin your Halloween candy.


Notes for the future

2015 – USSR Reformation – evidence emerges that Russia armed and offered advisers to ISIS – Russia continues conquest of former republics – EU and NATO scramble to contain advance

US and UK are deeply occupied by spread of ISIS as it continues to create new fronts in the Middle East and North Africa – New fronts in Indonesia and Malaysia

China, the Koreas, and Japan start having major troubles.

Russia, IS, China, Korea – RICK



Labor Day

I’m working today – as we all should be.  It would be different if they called Labor Day ‘the last day of Summer’ or ‘Fun at the Lake Day’ or ‘Beach BBQ Day’ – but I hate the fact that it’s called Labor Day.  Labor Day is a joke.

In most civilized parts of the world – Labor Day is May 1st – also known as International Workers Day or May Day.  I support that holiday – but the USA has not and never has. Instead, the capitalist USA political machine has always been scared of organized labor, they’ve always been scared of workers organizing, and they’ve always been scared of the workers controlling the means of production. They’ve labored such things as red, communist, socialist, or anti-American.  The reason  is that the capitalist class have always depended on the slave labor of the workers to make themselves rich. There has been a war against organized labor in this country for a long while and the capitalists are winning it bigger than ever.

Gone are the days when unions were controlled by the workers, gone are the days when there were calls for shorter work days, shorter work weeks, higher pay, better benefits, or lifetime security for loyal workers – instead we live in a country where companies are immortal and workers are hired as ‘contractors’ which is a fancy way of saying they have no job security and no benefits they don’t provide for themselves.

In 1886,  on May 4th, following organized labor activities and protests (on May 1st – the real labor day)  which followed demands for an 8 hour workday – police killed several protestors and riots ensued – culminating in protestors bombing the police with dynamite and the police killing four more and then seven being sentenced to death for conspiracy. This, many say, is the origin of the world’s labor day on May 1st ( though actually, MayDay goes further back than that) – in a sense – one could argue that communism has it’s roots in this American event – thus is an American institution which has been villainized and made to appear foreign and anti-American.  In any event, President Grover Cleveland feared that MayDay celebrations would be used to commemorate the Haymarket Massacre and celebrations were banned. After the Pullman Strike where Federal Marshalls and U.S. military killed workers demanding safer conditions, the government rushed to create a National ‘Labor’ Day – but designated it be in September to avoid remembrance of government brutality towards workers demanding better conditions and safer work environments. The choice of September 1st was blatantly political and championed by President Grover Cleveland to disempower nascent Communist, Anarchist, and Syndicalist movements which used MayDay as a rallying point to bring workers to a more empowered system.

Retailers love Labor Day and it is said to be the 2nd best retail sale day of the year – which means that workers are working longer hours on this holiday celebrating labor rights

The United States Capitalist Army has won it’s war against organized labor. They have villainized labor as mobsters, communists, and criminals. They have created a holiday that disempowers workers from solidarity with workers in other countries, and they have impovershed workers to the point where we are all working longer hours, getting less benefits, and earning less buying power (less money).  There is no need to outlaw labor organizations because they are already working against labor.

Congratulations America. Happy Labor Day.