Fun With Spammers #2
by Vago Damitio
As you guys might know, I sell used books. I place a lot of ads on craigslist to find buyers…and it never fails that nearly every day (sometimes multiple times in a day), I get badly written offers from far off places offering to buy my ‘item’ with a bogus money order or check that is for too much money so can I please send the check back? I’m tired of saying no. I’m going to start saying yes. Fuck yes! Here is the first of many offers I am going to reply Fuck Yes to. Incidentally, you should probably read Fuck, Yes!: A Guide to the Happy Acceptance of Everything since it will make your life infinitely better.
—– Original Message —-
From: tae tim <email@example.com>
Subject: ABOUT YOUR BOOKS.
Am Mrs Tim,, a dealer from China, and my agent in Cotonou just informed me of the urgent need of this item, After several consideration over the advert placed on the website and i will like to know:
1. Do you accept Money Order/Cashier’s Check as a mode of payment?
2. What condition is the item right now?
3. What is the final asking price?
If you will accept this as your mode of payment for this item just get back to me now..and i will like to inform you that our private shipping company will be coming for the pick up of the item, So you don’t need to bother yourself about the shipping.
Here is my first Fuck Yes reply:
Fuck Yes! this is good. send the money order. I will make change when you make it too large. This will be a very fun transaction. Your agent books can ick me up and make good time for everyone. bogus informative makes happy children and you and I will be springtime for Hitler in Germany. Thank you so myuch very and XiaXia to you and your happyu client. Mt address is verily: