“Whoa man, you must be a Taurus with all that stressed out energy…” the kid speaking to me was probably twenty and his dreadlocks and filthy jeans told me exactly what he was – a dirty hippie.
I tried to ignore him but he was like a fly on shit. No shaking him. He was an unflushable floater and there was no way I was getting him out of my bowl. I knew it right away, but still I had to try so I hit the plunger.
“Look, I’m busy and late and on my way somewhere so..” At this point he was walking next to me.
“Wow man, you’re karma must be seriously depleted, it’s all good man….” And there he was matching my stride, his long hippie legs making my frantic pace look lazy.
“I’m not interested, and my karma is seriously fine…” But I knew he wouldn’t go down the drain. The floaters never do.
“Hey man, you should be careful because your chakras can jam up and when that happens you end up missing the most important things, you know….” Yeah, I knew. I knew I wanted to get away from this guy but wouldn’t be able to. “It can cause all kinds of health problems and make your life unhappy. Time is the gift, Man! Seriously, that’s why we call it the present, can you dig?”
I was becoming frantic. How could I shake this guy? What would it take? I stopped – exhausted and turned to him.
“Is your car out of gas?” His slitted eyes got bigger…then narrowed again.
“Yeah, man, I’m just on my way to Oroville for a job my uncle’s brother’s friend got me but I don’t have any gas to get there and the bus ticket is $35 and this is my big chance, life has been testing me you know?” Yeah, I knew.
I pulled $20 out of my pocket and handed it to him. “This should cover the gas. Good luck. See ya later.”
I quickly walked away but not before seeing the smile on his face. Fucking energy vampires – they’re unflushable but you can usually at least buy them off.