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Severed feet and suicidal skydive instructors

Canadian cops are baffled and rightly creeped out as a fifth human foot has washed up in Southwestern Canada. If you or a loved one is missing a foot, please let the Mounties in Vancouver know ASAP.

Police were close-lipped about the type of shoe encasing the fifth foot, its size and its gender — but did reveal that it is the first left foot to be found.
The other four were all right feet encased in running shoes, and beginning last August they washed up on area islands, said Annie Linteau of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Canada’s national police force.

A little south in Ashland, Oregon, Jen Moss, known as “The Naked Lady” is raising controversy with her plans to be in Ashland’s Fourth of July parade free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string.

Even further south, here is a beautiful piece of vandalism. Hats off to the genius who put a picture of a sailor over the ‘sub’ in submarine.

And, just in case anyone thinks there is nothing else in San Francisco besides same sex weddings, don’t forget about the hipsters.

And of course there are always the dogs in wigs.

Here is what I think a suicidal sky dive instructor’s stream of consciousness might sound like:

Maybe I shouldn’t pull the cord. Nah. That’s crazy. I would never do that. Somewhat disturbing to think about what it would be like to do it though. It wouldn’t really be hard. I mean, it wouldn’t haunt me because I would be dead. Right? I mean, that’s what it is.
But to not pull the cord. The strength it will take to not pull the ripcord. To not choose life at the last moment. There really can’t be much more difficult than that. I have my doubts about whether I could really do it.
Fuck, I’m late. Fuck it, today will be my 1000th dive. Cool. Shit. Gotta go. I’m sick of working. Sick of having to be anywhere.
It’s a cool job though. I do have that going. I’ve got to be there, but it’s pretty cool. I just hate strapping myself to strangers and pretending to feel the thrill of their first airplane jump as if it is my first time too. Fuck. This all used to seem so cool.

This was penned after I took my first skydive. I was strapped to a guy who told me it was his 1000th dive. He didn’t seem very keen on living. We jumped out of the plane after the other skydivers and we landed first. As they pulled their ripcords we plummeted past them one after the other.

1 reply on “Severed feet and suicidal skydive instructors”

LOL hipsters … that is Valencia St. in the Mission to a T. We also have naked bikers here in SF … except they travel in packs. Last summer a bunch of about 40 or 50 almost ran me over while I was crossing Market Street at 8th … they made an illegal left through a red light at the intersection … quite a wake-up to just be wandering along and then suddenly herd of naked people not 2 feet in front of you. There were some hotties in the mix though so all was forgiven 🙂

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