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scary clowns terror suspects

Scary Arab Clowns here

For the record, we, the Scary Arab Clowns think Vago (Chris) is out of his mind too. We think he is twice as scary as us and thus we continue to pretend we are keeping him hostage out of fear for our sanity and lives. There is no telling what this lunatic will do next, in truth he has kidnapped us and forces us to pretend we have kidnapped him. It is all very confusing….to us and no doubt to you.
Thank you for your wonderful compliment on our grammar and vocabulary. We work harder than other clowns to be proficient in your language.
As to what we think you should do in America…by all means you should let the banks fail. Did you know that there is a real estate boom in Iraq right now? Trust us, the banks there failed miserably. They used to have a different currency. While we understand that chaos is not desirable, the truth is that your society has been being exploited and manipulated by bankers and thieves.
And did you know that sometimes you get fed what they think you want rather than what you really want or need? A good example of that is the laptop industry
We hate to be the ones to break it to you America, but your experiment has failed. It took a few wrong turns and now you are not the beacon of democracy you think you are, the inspiration to the world, or the leading edge of the future of the human race.
You are ensnared in a materialistic culture that focuses on the wrong things. Look to your Native American Churches, look to those practicing radical simplicity. We know, that you, like us, seek happiness and fulfillment in this life.
You might be amazed to know that those who have lest in this world are among the most satisfied and that even among those with most, there are those who also find satisfaction. Buddha told you this: Desire leads to suffering. What you need to consider further however is what the desire is and where it comes from. Desire comes from an empty spot in your being. If you think about it, you will rationally know that this cannot be filled with the material things of this world. Better hair, nicer car, more, bigger, and better security on any level cannot fill this void…
Jesus told you to give to God that which is his and to give to Ceasar that which is his…wise words. Ceasar can take material from you but when you give to God, your harvest increases.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “Acquire knowledge, it enables its professor to distinguish right from wrong; it lights the way to heaven. It is our friend in the desert, our company in solitude and companion when friendless. It guides us to happiness, it sustains us in misery, it is an ornament amongst friends and an armour against enemies.”
So yes, let your banks fail and learn that which can never be taken away. Plant food, ride bicycles, share with each other, and life will be good.
Oh, and by the way, we, the scary arab clowns, think your guns are very idiotic. It’s like growing poison in your garden.

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Existensis making the impossible Poor Vago possible Smooth Living Uncategorized

A moment's reprieve from the Scary Arab Clowns


The Scary Arab Clowns have agreed to give me a moment to address my friends and family via here and facebook due to the increased activity on both sites and the interest this has caused.
First of all, let me say thank you for all the congratulations, warm wishes, warnings, and announcements that I am out of my mind.
Of course I’m out of my mind. What kind of a person gives up his stock options to move into a VW bus and discover what it’s like to be homeless in the middle of a Northwest Winter? What kind of anarchist joins the Marine Corps? What kind of person moves to Hawaii with $100 and no plan? What kind of person starts to get his degree at the age of 35? What kind of person buys a round trip ticket with no intention of using the return and no plan of what he will do? What kind of person smokes salvia divinorum dozens of times in an attempt to lose his mind? What kind of a person reads the bible, the koran, the tao te ching, and even the Satanic Bible and finds truth in all of them? What kind of person wants money and fame and yet hates money and fame at the same time?
I will tell you what kind of person. A person that is out of their mind. So for those of you who are worried or concerned, there is no need to be. I am just as out of my mind as I have always been and that is not likely to change.
So here I am in Morocco. I meet a girl that physically, mentally, and spiritually is the woman of my dreams. There are no illusions here, she has issues, I have issues, we both are fundamentally flawed human beings and that is okay. As you no doubt read, I had red flags rising all over the place telling me to run, to wait, to hide, to give up, to continue moving on. So did she. So does her family. So does her community. But you know what? Shit happens. And so does love.

Sometimes you meet someone and you just know. Yes there have been other people I have loved, yes I have attempted to share my life with other women, and yes, I have failed in the past. You know where I have failed? I have failed by listening to those cautions, by listening to those warnings, by allowing my fear to dictate the terms of my life. Why should we wait? Should we wait so that we aren’t completely committed to each other and we can use that and fear as an excuse to drive wedges between us? Should we wait because we don’t know each others flaws well enough? Should we wait because commitment requires time?
No. Love happens. This isn’t a fairy tale, this isn’t a story, this isn’t a movie or a film. This is life. This is my life, it is Hanane’s life, and this is also your life. Some of you reading this are shaking your head and thinking that I am delusional. Maybe, but I will tell you what, you are delusional. You are all going to die, just like me, you are not going to live forever, you are going to die and it could happen in minutes or it could happen in decades. We are all going to die. You won’t be taking those bank accounts with you, you won’t be taking your cars, your houses, your clothes, or anything else. If we are all very lucky, there is an afterlife and we will be able to take some of our loves and passions and experiences on this plane with us, but we cannot know that. We can have faith, but we cannot know.
All we can know is that all of this ends for us at some undetermined time (unless you choose to end it yourself at a predetermined time).
So, why should we wait? Should we wait to tell the people we love that we love them? Should I wait to make certain my love for Hanane is real? How long? Six months? A year? Three years? That is insanity. I’ve seen marriages where they waited and failed and I’ve seen marriages where they didn’t wait and they still succeeded. The reason my past relationships failed was because of fear and because of not being willing to commit.
I fail when I don’t commit. We all do.
So again, thank you all for your concerns. I appreciate and love you. I hope that you all take a moment to consider that death could be waiting in your driveway or kitchen or workplace and commit yourself to living your life right now. The future may never come, but the moment is here, now. Take it because it is all you have.
So here is my recent history in very brief form, the clowns want me to write a book, I think it is a good idea.
I took a week to travel around Morocco and consider whether to commit or not. Trust me a week in a country where no one really speaks your language is like ten months in a place where they do because you get time to think. I traveled alone but made some friends along the way.
I thought and thought and thought and I realized that right now, right here, I have the chance to do something wonderful. I have the chance to commit myself to a woman who has told me that if I don’t want to become Muslim, she will still love me even though her religion frowns on this, a woman who speaks better English than me, who has overcome difficulties that most of you can’t imagine, a woman who knows that I am not secretly rich and who has dreamed of starting a life with her man with nothing so they can build it together. This has also been a dream of mine. She knows that I may not ever want to return to the United States, that I have far more debt than I know how to pay back, and that life with me will be more difficult at times than if she were to marry a man from her own culture.
Her employers and friends are concerned that she has lost her mind. They are warning her that I may be an exploitive foreigner who is only trying to use her body and steal from her. They are as concerned as some of you, perhaps they are more concerned. She is loved by her friends, her family, and her students. And while I have endeavored to not put her on a pedestal, those who know her certainly have.
So I came back to her and upon seeing her, emotions flooded us both. We spent the day talking and working and of course, because this is Morocco, eating with her family. We talked about waiting and we agreed that waiting is sometimes worse than not. For a week I had been writing about my fears, my intentions, my desires, and what it is that I want from life. I want this life with her. I know this. And so, I asked her if she would consider becoming my wife. She cried and she said yes. We talked about the challenges and difficulties (and there are many…believe me) and we both said yes.
This was only the beginning. I wanted to cook dinner for her family that evening so that I could ask her father for permission to marry her. So we shopped, we found her a beautiful ring and I bought ingredients to make pizza. That night, Hanane and I made pizza and thought it was hard to get his attention away from the TV news, I finally managed to ask Selim if I could marry his daughter. He said yes. Not because I am American, not because I am rich, not because of all the negative reasons, though I admit that I am sure these things help, but because I have lived here with this family, they have seen the way we look at one another, the way we talk, and the way we interact. To those who know us or see us, there is no doubt. I hope that in looking at the few pictures I have put up on facebook, that the concerns of my friends and family are also put at ease.
The next day we bought dates and a few essentials and in the evening we hosted a small engagement party for Hanane’s family and neighbors. Not more than fifteen people but an engagement is not an off the cuff thing here. There was ceremony involved where we put the rings on each others hands, fed each other dates, gave each other milk from bowls, and finally where henna was applied to Hanane’s hands and feet and to one of my hands. The whole family danced and sang and took part and we feasted on things that everyone had brought. As you can see from the pictures, Hanane is a Princess and on the day of engagement, a Moroccan woman is a Princess. So maybe this is a fairy tale after all…

And now, we move on with life…there are no guarantees. There are difficulties in each person’s life that no one else can understand…and joys.
As to religion. I am Muslim. And there is no problem at all with the fact that I still find truth in the words of Jesus, the words of Buddha, the words of Krishnamurti, or the teachings of any faith. Why am I Muslim? For one reason only, because I submit myself to the will of God and don’t have any illusions about being in control. Someday, we can discuss the particulars in email or in person and I will be happy to clarify. But publicly here, I make my declaration that I am Muslim.
The Evil Clowns are back from shopping and I have to go now….
Vago (the artist formerly known as Chris)

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Vago and Hanane

Of course I’m out of my mind. What kind of a person gives up his stock options to move into a VW bus and discover what it’s like to be homeless in the middle of a Northwest Winter? What kind of anarchist joins the Marine Corps? What kind of person moves to Hawaii with $100 and no plan? What kind of person starts to get his degree at the age of 35? What kind of person buys a round trip ticket with no intention of using the return and no plan of what he will do? What kind of person smokes salvia divinorum dozens of times in an attempt to lose his mind? What kind of a person reads the bible, the koran, the tao te ching, and even the Satanic Bible and finds truth in all of them? What kind of person wants money and fame and yet hates money and fame at the same time?
Vago and Hanane
I will tell you what kind of person. A person that is out of their mind. So for those of you who are worried or concerned, there is no need to be. I am just as out of my mind as I have always been and that is not likely to change.

So here I am in Morocco. I meet a girl that physically, mentally, and spiritually is the woman of my dreams. There are no illusions here, she has issues, I have issues, we both are fundamentally flawed human beings and that is okay. As you no doubt read, I had red flags rising all over the place telling me to run, to wait, to hide, to give up, to continue moving on. So did she. So does her family. So does her community. But you know what? Shit happens. And so does love.

Sometimes you meet someone and you just know. Yes there have been other people I have loved, yes I have attempted to share my life with other women, and yes, I have failed in the past. You know where I have failed? I have failed by listening to those cautions, by listening to those warnings, by allowing my fear to dictate the terms of my life. Why should we wait? Should we wait so that we aren’t completely committed to each other and we can use that and fear as an excuse to drive wedges between us? Should we wait because we don’t know each others flaws well enough? Should we wait because commitment requires time?

No. Love happens. This isn’t a fairy tale, this isn’t a story, this isn’t a movie or a film. This is life. This is my life, it is Hanane’s life, and this is also your life. Some of you reading this are shaking your head and thinking that I am delusional. Maybe, but I will tell you what, you are delusional. You are all going to die, just like me, you are not going to live forever, you are going to die and it could happen in minutes or it could happen in decades. We are all going to die. You won’t be taking those bank accounts with you, you won’t be taking your cars, your houses, your clothes, or anything else. If we are all very lucky, there is an afterlife and we will be able to take some of our loves and passions and experiences on this plane with us, but we cannot know that. We can have faith, but we cannot know.

All we can know is that all of this ends for us at some undetermined time (unless you choose to end it yourself at a predetermined time).

So, why should we wait? Should we wait to tell the people we love that we love them? Should I wait to make certain my love for Hanane is real? How long? Six months? A year? Three years? That is insanity. I’ve seen marriages where they waited and failed and I’ve seen marriages where they didn’t wait and they still succeeded. The reason my past relationships failed was because of fear and because of not being willing to commit.

I fail when I don’t commit. We all do.

So again, thank you all for your concerns. I appreciate and love you. I hope that you all take a moment to consider that death could be waiting in your driveway or kitchen or workplace and commit yourself to living your life right now. The future may never come, but the moment is here, now. Take it because it is all you have.

So here is my recent history in very brief form, the clowns want me to write a book, I think it is a good idea.

I took a week to travel around Morocco and consider whether to commit or not. Trust me a week in a country where no one really speaks your language is like ten months in a place where they do because you get time to think. I traveled alone but made some friends along the way.

I thought and thought and thought and I realized that right now, right here, I have the chance to do something wonderful. I have the chance to commit myself to a woman who has told me that if I don’t want to become Muslim, she will still love me even though her religion frowns on this, a woman who speaks better English than me, who has overcome difficulties that most of you can’t imagine, a woman who knows that I am not secretly rich and who has dreamed of starting a life with her man with nothing so they can build it together. This has also been a dream of mine. She knows that I may not ever want to return to the United States, that I have far more debt than I know how to pay back, and that life with me will be more difficult at times than if she were to marry a man from her own culture.

Her employers and friends are concerned that she has lost her mind. They are warning her that I may be an exploitive foreigner who is only trying to use her body and steal from her. They are as concerned as some of you, perhaps they are more concerned. She is loved by her friends, her family, and her students. And while I have endeavored to not put her on a pedestal, those who know her certainly have.

So I came back to her and upon seeing her, emotions flooded us both. We spent the day talking and working and of course, because this is Morocco, eating with her family. We talked about waiting and we agreed that waiting is sometimes worse than not. For a week I had been writing about my fears, my intentions, my desires, and what it is that I want from life. I want this life with her. I know this. And so, I asked her if she would consider becoming my wife. She cried and she said yes. We talked about the challenges and difficulties (and there are many…believe me) and we both said yes.

This was only the beginning. I wanted to cook dinner for her family that evening so that I could ask her father for permission to marry her. So we shopped, we found her a beautiful ring and I bought ingredients to make pizza. That night, Hanane and I made pizza and thought it was hard to get his attention away from the TV news, I finally managed to ask Selim if I could marry his daughter. He said yes. Not because I am American, not because I am rich, not because of all the negative reasons, though I admit that I am sure these things help, but because I have lived here with this family, they have seen the way we look at one another, the way we talk, and the way we interact. To those who know us or see us, there is no doubt. I hope that in looking at the few pictures I have put up on facebook, that the concerns of my friends and family are also put at ease.
Vago and Hanane
The next day we bought dates and a few essentials and in the evening we hosted a small engagement party for Hanane’s family and neighbors. Not more than fifteen people but an engagement is not an off the cuff thing here. There was ceremony involved where we put the rings on each others hands, fed each other dates, gave each other milk from bowls, and finally where henna was applied to Hanane’s hands and feet and to one of my hands. The whole family danced and sang and took part and we feasted on things that everyone had brought. As you can see from the pictures, Hanane is a Princess and on the day of engagement, a Moroccan woman is a Princess. So maybe this is a fairy tale after all…

And now, we move on with life…there are no guarantees. There are difficulties in each person’s life that no one else can understand…and joys.

As to religion. I am Muslim. And there is no problem at all with the fact that I still find truth in the words of Jesus, the words of Buddha, the words of Krishnamurti, or the teachings of any faith. Why am I Muslim? For one reason only, because I submit myself to the will of God and don’t have any illusions about being in control. Someday, we can discuss the particulars in email or in person and I will be happy to clarify. But publicly here, I make my declaration that I am Muslim.

The Evil Clowns are back from shopping and I have to go now….
Vago (the artist formerly known as Chris)

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Existensis scary clowns

Hope is a four letter word!


We would warn you to be very concerned American pig dogs and know that HOPE is spelled with four letters just like BUSH is. Your new leader, while more handsome and less prone to drooling is still working for the secret world government.

U.S. home prices plunged at a record pace in December and consumer confidence hit a new low in February, data showed on Tuesday, as Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke warned the recession could extend beyond this year.

You listen as he tells you that he will spend less, but in the first weeks already nearly a billion dollars of your money has been spent on the greedy bank holding companies, not to be confused with the banks and in the meantime, your property values have dropped even further. You are becoming poorer and cheering about it as the rug is stolen from under you. We, the scary arab clowns find this hilarious.

Obama’s first weeks in office have been marked by a $787 billion economic stimulus package, a retooled financial industry bailout program and a home mortgage rescue plan.

And we find it very hilarious that even though your leaders tell you the truth, you choose not to hear it.

“We are committed to ensuring the viability of all major financial institutions,” Bernanke said.

Yes, they are committed to the financial institutions. The ones who have moved their assets and headquarters to Dubai, Shanghai, and other new world headquarters. Note that they are not concerned to your viability. This is because they already have you. You think the key to this life is in consumption of goods and luxury, but you are wrong.
We are becoming more impressed with Vago as we realize he has left your world behind for something more profound and more beautiful, but we still won’t let him tell you about any of this unless you pay us! We dont’ want to consume but in order to get our message out we must participate to a limited degree in your foul system. We are thinking that we will let him write a book, but we will not let him give it away as he has done in the past.
The problem with giving pig dogs anything for free is that they don’t know how to value anything without the false god money attached to it. So we will let you pay for what is more valuable than your money-god or your false definition of hope.

“There are very few, if any, pockets of turnaround that one can see in the data,” said David Blitzer, chairman of S&P’s index committee. “Most of the nation appears to remain on a downward path.”
A separate report from the Federal Housing Finance Agency said single-family home prices fell a record 4.5 percent in the last three months of 2008 compared with a year earlier, though the pace of decline slowed.
The S&P/Case Shiller data showed that prices have plummeted 26.7 percent from the housing market peak in the second quarter of 2006.
Alan Ruskin, chief international strategist at RBS Greenwich Capital in Greenwich, Connecticut, said a rising jobless rate, limited access to credit and an overhang of unsold homes will conspire to keep prices headed lower in the months ahead and potential buyers on the sidelines.
“Cheap just does not do it, at least while expectations that it will get cheaper are entrenched,” he said.
The U.S. economy has shed more than 3 million jobs since the beginning of 2008.

But if you really want to hope, we suggest you look to the life of a Jew we love, yes, we do love some Jews, especially this one.
Leonard Cohen on the Road Again
He has made more and lost more than most of you can imagine and yet, he continues, and he has no problem reconciling his world of spirit to this ugly material world.
As to Vago, you would be amazed if you knew what he had done last night.
YOurs truly,
The Scary Arab Clowns (of Hope)

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Politics scary clowns

Scary Arab Clowns take down Gmail

We, the scary Arab cowns are through with clowning around. We are brainwashing Vago and using sleep deprivation techniques to mine the fertile valleys of his cranium for nefarious ideas.
After sending him on a circuitous route on the ferris wheel for 26 hours, we sent him on an extended shopping spree with three Moroccan women and completely destroyed his sense of responsibility towards other denizens of the world wide internet web.
At this point, we asked him, how should we take billions of dollars of potential money away and his answer was “Don’t bomb buildings, don’t kill people, take down G-mail” Our estimates show that the current outage though only a few hours long has already cost billions in productivity, missed deals, and frustrated workers who are so concerned about not getting an email from thier high school friends that they don’t manage to accomplish anything through the day.
We will continue to break Vago down and take his hidden ideas for expensive mischief and execute them until our demands have been met.
Kindest thoughts,
Scary Arab Clowns (of doom)