It’s not looking good for me. I’ve recieved only two hatemails in the past week and one of them was from my mom! That means I only need 148 this week or the aliens are going to probe me, prod me, and possibly replace me with a kinder, gentler clone. Don’t blame me, I’m doing my part, it’s my lazy friends and readers who refuse to send me their hatemail! Please, don’t be shy. Tell me what you hate, ask any questions, and remember…all questions will be answered.
B’ham man huh? I enjoyed reading your columns, but I still don’t get it. What the hell is hatemail? Hatemail to me would be letters to my ex-husbands. By the way, did you hear they’ve built a new courthouse down here for $225 million and forgot to put disabled access…that’s another $700,000. Whoa to us, the taxpayers. We, the working class have little choice about anything. I love you son. Ma.
Ma, In this time of political spin, war is peace and love is hate, remember 1+1=3, so hatemail equals lovemail. Do you send hatemail to Dad with the rest of your ex-husbands? Anyway, thanks for the info about taxpayers getting the shaft. It’s not a big surprise for me. I don’t mind paying taxes, after all, I enjoy many of the benefits of living in a prosperous and powerful country, but it would be nice to be able to decide where some of my taxes are going.
Well, here are some things I hate in this world. 1) flourescent lights 2) holes in my socks and 3) the mailman always bringing bad news. What can I do? John O.
John O, Flourescence is the emission of electromagnetic radiation, especially visible light, stimulated in a substance by the absorption of incident radiation and persisting only as long as the stimulating radiation is continued. Flourescent light occurs when electrical currents cause a vapor in a gas tube to emit electrons. The vapor is commonly one of the “noble gases”. There is a three step process to stopping flourescent light in your life. 1) at home, do not use flourescent light 2) start a listing of flourescent free businesses 3) create an incentive for more business’ to become flourescent free. Something like little window signs “ This business is flourescent free”. Holes in your socks is a little more tricky: 1) buy socks woven with kevlar thread or 2) learn to darn your socks. Now to the really tricky one. Mailmen can’t be stopped by rain, nor hail, nor sleet, nor snow. You have to assume that the mailman is armed and you don’t want him to go postal on you. This one has to be attacked from a flanking position. Write a letter to yourself, reminding you of something fantastic in your life.. Send it from a letter box in another town, you are almost gauranteed, that the mailman will bring you good news at least once. Thus the mailman is no longer “always bringing bad news”, just sometimes. Thanks for the hatemail John. If you have any more questions, you know where to find me. Send your hatemail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Y2K FOR YOUR DINING PLEASURE.
Hitlers power rested on a foundation of media manipulation, public spin, and staged events.Do you ever wonder if we’re getting fed the worlds biggest snowjob? They’re not saying too much about Y2K these days? Are they wagging the dog with expensive yet effective air wars on, shall we say, non strategic countries. .Are critical systems compliant? What should we do to prepare? What is mission critical? and more importantly what isn’t? for instance…is hospital gear critical? Emergency services? City traffic lights? Will the three day New Years holiday be enough to fix grocery registers and gas pumps? Will milk machines have the power to milk the vast herds of dairy cows in Lynden? Supposedly the Y2K crisis is supposed to affect the rest of the world quite badly? Ever heard of the global economy? Economic failures in one country spill over to the next.
It’s the same old spin. War equals peace-keeping. Officers of the peace are police and we’re involved in another “police action”. Remember the last police action? This is going to be ugly folks. Remember Nostradamus said that World War III would start July 17th.
As if that’s not enough, everything is okay with the computers they’re working on the solar flare satellite catastophe. Since the last flares ( more than a decade ago) our national electric grid has changed drastically and we have become dependent on satellite communications. We’re sitting ducks.
While we’re on the subject of cellphones, doesn’t it seem ridiculous that authorities are limited to the same cells as the public? During the recent explosion at Whatcom Creek, authorities asked that citizens not use their cell phones because all the traffic was keeping them from finding out or communicating necessary information. Bullshit. 1) the autorities should have a more reliable system of communication and 2) most people I know have cell phones as an emergency measure to get in touch with loved ones. For the cost of a cell phone, I better be able to call my loved ones and tell them I’m okay or vice versa. Don’t plan on calling anyone if the shit hits the fan.
NATO SCORE CARD!!!!
Approximate results of the bombing on Yugosavia: Over 100 Serbian aircraft destroyed, 2 NATO planes, 10 Serbian airfields destroyed, 314 Serbian artillery pieces, 203 Serbian armored personnel carriers, 120 Serbian tanks, 268 other Serbian military vehicles, 14 Serbian command posts, 34 highway bridges, 11 railroad bridges, 57% of all oil reserves, all refineries, 29% of ammunition storage. 10,000 Serb soldiers killed, 1,500 civilians killed, 5000 civilians wounded, 3 Chinese killed, one Chinese embassy destroyed,, 1.8 million Kosovar ethnic Albanians displaced.
Results of the ground war: 2 german journalists, 2 serbians, relations with Russia strained severely.
I want your hatemail!!!
Last night God said if I don’t receive 150 pieces of hatemail in the next 2 weeks, aliens will abduct me and I’ll never be heard from again…. so heres the plan. You can hatemail me about anything you have a question about…ANYTHING!!!.. I will answer all questions. Ever question has an answer, and I have them all. Remember, in the public spin of these times, war equals peace and hate equals love, so no need to be bashful. Only your hatemail can save me from getting probed! Hatemail me at email@example.com .